Pole Princess

They say the brighter the light the longer the shadow. I am a variation of that - I have always been little but my passions have been humongous. I take up space. A lot of it. And I need every scrap of it to express myself in the hundreds of ways I do. I am in love with flash and dazzle and you will likely find glitter somewhere near me. The glitter is just a symbol, though, for all the light inside me that is constantly pressing to get out. When I think about it, I am awed by how much can be stuffed inside a tiny little body. It’s a whole universe in there!

This has been the case my whole life. Thankfully, I have found ways to appease my restless nature. I started gymnastics in ’93 and I have stayed active to this day. I became obsessed with it after watching my favorite gymnasts Shannon Miller and Dominique Moceanu at the 96 Olympics. In gymnastics, the moment is everything. When I’m doing a handspring or a scissors leap, I’m not thinking about tomorrow or yesterday. I am movement and I am now. I live and breathe that. I am able to lose myself in movement and find myself at the same time. Every move I make is a confession and a glimpse into my soul. It’s always a miracle.

Gymnastics blossomed into dancing. I started early, dancing on the Cheer Team in Middle School. I’ve danced everything from swing to hip hop to ballroom to exotic. Dance has become a delightful insanity that helps me stay sane. In my memory, I have never stopped moving to the music around me and I don’t intend to ever stop. I’ve heard it said that “Dancing is like dreaming with your feet” and I am a dreamer. I ultimately became a professional dancer in 2010. Even then, just dancing for myself, while gratifying, wasn’t enough. I started to also teach others. Dancers, models, strippers, housewives…anyone who wanted to learn how to move like me. I was happy to be their teacher.

When I became a courtesan, I found the physical nature of it to be similar in many ways to dancing. I had to learn the art of knowing how to open my heart and to turn on my creativity in the bedroom. I found that passion was so much more important than technique and that the best “dance” was unchoreographed. For me, that became another space to practice my art. And I loved it. Bodies never lie. Physical response is the truest expression anyone can give. I understand that to my core.

As for awards? I never danced competitively. When you dance as a form of self-expression, what is the point in that? I did, however, receive a special honor from the other ladies at the brothel. They named me “Pole Princess”. It was a sweet term of endearment and it made my heart swell. The fact that they found delight in what I do was enough me. I look forward to the same when you and I tango. Mutual delight in our physical union. It will be a dance that will keep a smile plastered to your face for years to come.

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